Uninterrupted dinners for two, energy to stay out past 2am, shaving above the knee, wearing high heels & lipstick, allowing intimacy to present itself anytime & anywhere in the house, those were the days! Fast forward a few kids later and you haven’t had a hot meal in years, your energy is zapped before 2pm, shaving has become a past luxury, flats & yoga pants are where it is at, and intimacy, what’s that!? Our obligations & responsibilities have increased exponential since kids entered the picture and it is so hard to find the time and energy to make any magic happen, ANY!! So here are 10 quick, minimal energy, effort, or time, tips to help you rekindle that romance while raising kids!
10 Tips to Keep the Romance Alive While Raising Kids
- Do something nice for your spouse first thing in the morning! Nothing huge, just something that say you are the first thing on my mind when I wake up….perhaps bring them coffee, let them use the bathroom first, if they are working out of town send them a good morning text, write “I love you” in the condensation on the bathroom mirror, put a clean towel out for them, etc.
- Text. Everyone is busy, busy at work, busy with the kids, busy, busy, busy! So sometimes a phone conversation is out of the question. Instead text, text something small, a simple, “thinking of you, I love you” text, just something that says you’re on my mind.
- A Picture is worth a thousand words. Sometimes we just have those days when we can’t form words, let alone sentences….don’t worry it happens to everyone with kids on one day or another! Instead send a pic! Take a photo on your phone of something cute, funny, a picture of yourself, etc. a pic that doesn’t get posted to social media, one just for the two of you.
- Post-it-Notes. These are so simple and so fun!! Place post-it-notes in locations where your spouse will frequent the next day…say a briefcase, the silverware drawer, their car steering wheel. Don’t know what to write? Here are some ideas….CLICK HERE & HERE
- Give the yoga pants the night off (or the equivalent for men, sweatpants) & shave!! Look good for each other. Fight it all you want but there is a mind body connection. So on occasion give the yoga pants a break, shave your legs, and spritz a bit of perfume….when you are rocking shaved legs, cute pants/skirt, and smell good you will not only feel, but will exude sexy!!
- Take out the papers & the trash! Do something for your spouse without being asked. If you see that the trash is full take it upon yourself to take it out, if you notice that your hubby is running low on underwear get a load in before he asks, it really is the little things in life….no huge romantic gestures, it is the small acts of kindness that say I love you.
- Save the Date: Date Nights are a MUST! But we often make excuses…it is too expensive, it is way too much work packing up the kids, dropping them off just to go back 3 hours later to pick them up, there is nothing to do, etc. NO MORE EXCUSES!! Set a date; make it simple on yourselves, say, every 3rd Saturday will be date night. Then call the sitter, have her place those on her calendar…then call the backup sitter and have them block out those 3 hours every 3rd Saturday for the rest of the year, and your date nights are saved!!!
- Do something new together!! The novelty of that newness at the beginning of a relationship need not wear off…keep doing new things together! Learn to cook together, go to the shooting range, take a trapeze class together, learn to dance, paint, the possibilities are endless…think outside the box…do something together that you never envisioned doing…something a bit outside your comfort zone.
BONUS: 20 Fun Date Night Destinations in Toledo (click on each to be redirected to website)
Bird’s Eye View Circus (Circus class)
Cleland’s Outdoor World (Shooting Range/Archery)
Ritter Planetarium (Romance under the Stars)
The Art Supply Depot (Paint Pottery)
Uncork the Artist (Paint Canvases together & sip on some wine, romantic!!)
Fox Meadow Farm (Horseback Riding Lessons…every Knight in shining Armor should know how to ride a horse)
The Adventure Park (Zip lining….seasonal, starts in the Spring, book it now!)
Planet Rock (Rock Climbing)
Veritas Cork & Craft (Wine Tasting)
Q-Zar (Laser Tag)
Sky Zone (Trampoline Park)
577 Foundation (Learn how to cook Lebanese’s, Indian food, etc.)
9. Take ten! At the end of every day take ten minutes of undivided attention, turn off phones, television, etc. and give each other 10 quality minutes to listen to your spouse and share your happenings of the day too…honestly, it only takes 10 minutes if it is undivided attention!!! Remember it’s not the quantity but quality of time that you give one another that say, I love you.
10. Keep all screens charged & get a lock for your bedroom door….I am thinking this one might be self-explanatory. After all that rekindling, connecting, shaving your legs, and spritzing on a bit of perfume there is a good chance “the magic” will strike and this is an entirely appropriate time to allow kids to have screen time!!
Any tips that your already do? Any you would suggest adding to the list?