5 Tips on How to Avoid an Ugly Cry Meltdown in the Hobby Lobby Parking-lot


“You’re the worst mom ever! Don’t you know how to be responsible? You signed the sheet acknowledging your commitment to the rehearsals. Now your daughter will never be the ballerina that she has longed to be, you killed her dreams!” was what my guilty mom conscious heard. But what was actuality said was, “Didn’t you sign the sheet? The dates were on that piece of paper. The first two rehearsals are mandatory” exclaimed the assistance at the Toledo Ballet Nutcracker rehearsal. (Just to clarify, they were very understanding and helpful…our experience there has been exceptional! This post is in no way an ill reflection on them, but me. This is not a bashing post, but rather a lesson in adult-ing). It was in that moment that a month’s worth of overwhelm came to a climax. momlifeMy daughter missing her first rehearsal on account of me was the tipping point; I could feel the flood gates about to give way. I needed to reach the confines of my car stat! I clicked unlock on the remote and just like that the gates opened. I was one sobbing, mascara running, ugly cry mess!  How did I get here?

 

5 Tips on How to Avoid an Ugly Cry Meltdown in the Hobby Lobby Parking-lot

  1. It is okay to say “no”, don’t overcommit! I am a chronic “yes” mom. I feel like most of my need to say yes to things stems from the fact that I am a stay at home working mom. Since I am at home I feel this obligation to volunteer more, especially since all my kiddos are in school all day. I mean, I can’t be accused of sitting on the couch eating Bonbons and watching soap operas (do those even exist anymore?). So I overcompensate and organize outings for our Moms Group, Co-chair the Santa Shop, Teach Religious Ed class, am on the PTA, dabble in some freelance writing, etc. And then after school I am the homework mom and since my husband is on the road a lot I am also the cook, bedtime referee, morning routine enforcer, and weekend warrior with flute lessons, ballet, & church. And I know so many of you moms can relate. It’s just so hard to say no, which leads me to the next tip; if you can’t say no at least ask for help.
  2. Ask for Help! This is right up there with admitting defeat for us moms, am I right!? Lol! Sad, but true, somehow we associate asking for help with failure. As if in some way we are less of a mother because we couldn’t go it alone. You know what happens when you go it alone? You end up ugly crying in the parking lot of a Hobby Lobby with your 1st grader in the backseat witnessing her mother fall apart. If I’m not mistaken that sounds a bit more like failure than maintaining your composure, knowing your limits and asking for help. Remember the kids are always watching and our behavior is being modeled, we don’t want our children to become stressed out overcommitted adults, so if we won’t ask for help for our own sake, at least we should ask for help for the children’s sake. And speaking of the children, not only do we need to teach them how to handle the pressures of life but we need to make certain we aren’t simply relinquishing their burdens onto ourselves.
  3. Don’t carry your children’s burdens! 3 weeks into the school year I had a letter sent home stating that my 6th grader’s class was going to be dissolved and the students would be absorbed into the other two classrooms. My poor sweet girl, the social components of life are not the easiest for her, she is not good with abrupt change, as are any of us really. momlife2She went from being acclimated in a classroom with the teacher she was so looking forward to having, and life was good, or as good as it can be in middle school, and then it all changed in one day. And instead of praying and not worrying I carried those feelings, I contemplated the “what ifs”, and officially wore that burden. Now that’s not to say that we shouldn’t be concerned for our children but we shouldn’t allow the worries to consume us. Take a step back, assess the situation, be hands-on, and once you have done everything humanly possible give it to God…and don’t dwell! Easier said than done? Then take heed of step 4!
  4. Make Mom’s time out a priority! Scheduling time away from your kids sounds so counterintuitive to motherhood. And, what’s more, during the particularly hectic, crazy, busy times of the year like back-to-school and Christmas you need to schedule more mom time out opportunities. Whether it’s grabbing coffee with a friend, having a solitude moment strolling through the Toledo Museum of Art (it’s very therapeutic), or hanging with a group of moms, get it on your calendar! Schedule it like you would a doctor’s appointment or a tune-up for your car, if you go forth with that mentality you are less likely to cancel on account of exhaustion or your house not being clean enough for a sitter. Speaking of a messy house, or as my mom prefers to say, cluttered home, tip #5 has you covered!
  5. A place for everything & everything in its place! This one is an oldie, but goodie, and one I did not heed during our kitchen renovation. Everything from our kitchen ended up in our family room, EVERYTHING! momlife4momlife3Thus my desk, where kiddos’ paperwork normally belongs was covered in dishes and pots & pans. Can’t imagine how I misplaced the paper for ballet rehearsal! I didn’t come up with a temporary home for the paperwork and that is entirely on me, my fault, but going forth I now know that I need to confirm that everything has a “home”. And once everything has a home the next vital step is orienting the family on the location of said homes. Because let’s be honest, you really can’t yell at a child for not putting something back where it belong if you never showed them where the item’s home is located.

And that my friends is how you avoid an ugly cry meltdown in the Hobby Lobby parking-lot, or any parking lot, lol!

Have you ever found yourself so overwhelmed that you had to hold back the flood gates? Or perhaps you have some tips you’d like to share on how you maintain composure in the midst of motherhood?

 

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