The “oops I peed in mommy & daddy’s bed” potty training years are over!   There are no more midnight feedings. No more spare diapers, wipes, and Butt Paste on the nightstand. No more rolling over in bed and popping open a Sippy cup lid filled with day old milk.  No more stray Cheerios lingering between the sheets.  No more co-sleeping, except for the occasional “I had a bad dream” or “scary thunderstorm” visitors in the middle of the night. And, truth-be-told, as a mom I actually found myself longing for a “scary thunderstorms” and/or a bad dream because in those moments I was able to reclaim a small morsel of the past.  I thought I was suffering from a serve case of Post-Preschooler Depression. But what was actually happening was I didn’t reclaim my/our space as a couple, what is mommy & daddy’s room without the infant, toddler, preschooler necessities sprawled about? It was time to reclaim our space as a couple. Thus, when my husband went on a business trip for a week I seized the opportunity to take back our space and redecorated our bedroom as an early Anniversary gift for us. And it has been the BEST gift we have ever given ourselves! We now like to go to bed when the kids do, our bedroom has become our own little couple’s retreat, our little oasis.  I highly recommend every couple do the same! Don’t know where to start? No worries, I got ya covered, love.

5 Tips to Help Transform Mommy & Daddy’s Bedroom into a Couple’s Retreat:

1. Inspiration– Don’t just hit up Home Goods and purchase the first comforter, drapes, etc. you see! Do a bit of research. This is often the step that takes the longest but most definitely should not be skipped! Determine what color, design style, and, possibly even designer, that inspires. My inspiration color was blue. I am literally obsessed with all things blue lately. To help you decide on a color I recommend you read up on the psychological effects of color (http://www.color-wheel-pro.com/color-meaning.html  ). “Blue is the color of the sky and sea. It is often associated with depth and stability. It symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, intelligence, faith, truth, and heaven. Blue is considered beneficial to the mind and body. It slows human metabolism and produces a calming effect” thus making it a great selection for a bedroom.  Now that you know your color/colors it’s time to decide on a design style.  Here is a site that does a great job defining the different styles, http://www.dwellcandy.com/interior-design-styles-2/.  The design style I favor is Mid-Century Modern and I find myself really drawn to the designer, Johnathan Adler’s work. Here are a couple examples of his projects.

Once you have determined your colors and style it is time to move onto the next step.

2. List– This one is super simple but is the step most people forget, make a list of all the things that drive you insane about the current status of your bedroom. Then indicate how you can rectify said irritation.

My list included:

• Lack of privacy-need to get drapes
• Lighting is bad- need more light
• Comforter is torn (thanks to our puppy) – need a new comforter
• Only have one set of sheets-need a new set of sheets
• Can’t see entire outfit when getting ready- need a full-length mirror
• Husband comes in late and tosses clothes on floor- get chair to place clothes on

3. Shop– I like to peruse all my options first. Thus, I hit up Home Goods, Hobby Lobby, Kirkland’s, & JCPenney (all are within a 5 mile radius of one another in Toledo, score!) and each is within my budget constraints. What to look for: Look for items that not only represent the design style and color you wish to implement but also keep in mind the elements & principles of design. Elements of Design: point, line, shape, form, space, color, and texture. Design Principles: balance, proportion, perspective, emphasis, movement, pattern, repetition, rhythm, variety, harmony, and unity.

If you keep these in mind when shopping and purchasing items for your bedroom you will have a cohesive design. Note the textures in this image of our bedroom, the shag rug, plastic & woodgrain on the chair, reflective mirror, distressed/weather appearance on the frame of the mirror, each assist in providing a unified aesthetic appearance.

Also, note the patterns on the quilt and comforter, shapes and line of all the pillows, and the use of positive and negative space provides a visually appealing design. Also, I totally hit the jackpot, when I walked into JCPenney’s guess whose bedding line was there and on sale? Johnathan Adler’s!!!  Lastly, note the undertone of the circle shape and the added texture found on the trim of the drapes and the lamp. The key is to remember the elements and principles of design when shopping, don’t allow one to dominate your space, balance is key.

4. Assemble– Most items you purchase for a bedroom are straightforward. You know how to place sheets, comforter, pillow shams, etc. on a bed and how to assemble a light fixture (don’t forget the light bulbs), place a mirror, etc. But the HUGEST mistake people make is hanging drapery. Most people hang it too tight to the window frame and not high enough. Please, please take the time to hang drapery correctly; it is a matter of good vs bad design. Here is a great illustration of what to and not to do when hanging drapery.

5. Maintenance– Take a few moments to soak in the beauty, post a few pics to Instagram, etc. but don’t get too comfortable yet. The last step is just as important, and again, this step is one that individuals totally bypass while basking in the glory that is their new space. Maintenance is vital. How are you going to maintain this new, fresh, gorgeous space? And yes, dusting, vacuuming, and laundering are going to be important but in order to truly preserve the space rules and boundaries must be implemented.

Our rules for Mom & Dad’s Bedroom Retreat include:

1. No fur-members allowed- I thought this one would be more difficult for me to uphold but I must be honest kicking the dog out of our room has led to many sleep filled nights and rest filled mornings. Also, I have found that I don’t have to vacuum/sweep or dust as frequently.
2. No more watching Netflix in Mom & Dad’s bedroom- kiddos used to watch a show upstairs while we had “date night” downstairs, those days have passed.
3. Ask permission before entering Mom & Dad’s Bedroom- this is something we are working on in general throughout the house. Knocking on doors and waiting for the person to answer, not entering someone’s room when they aren’t there, basically respect and privacy.

Disclaimer: There is a chance that you will adore your new kid-free oasis, couple retreat bedroom so much that you might find your family expanding by two tiny feet. Lol!