As parents, we spend so much of our lives worrying about our jobs. We obsess over performance reviews, deadlines, and what our boss or HR might think. We juggle meetings, manage projects, and bend over backward to prove our worth at work, all while balancing the never-ending responsibilities that come with raising a family.
But recently, I had a realization that hit me hard: At work, I can be replaced. As a parent, I cannot.
It sounds simple, but it’s profound. No matter how good we are at our careers, someone else can eventually step into our role. But as a mom or dad, we hold a position no one else can fill. That thought made me pause and ask myself: If I put so much effort into my job’s performance reviews, why am I not doing the same for my most important job, being a parent?
That question sparked an idea. What if I conducted my own “Parent Review”? Not in a formal, stuffy way, but in a heartfelt, intentional, one-on-one weekend getaway with each of my kids. A chance for them to give me honest feedback. Where am I doing well? Where am I falling short? What do they need more of from me?
I decided to start with my youngest daughter. She often gets the short end of the stick, as the baby of the family. She’s easygoing and independent, which sometimes means she doesn’t get as much one-on-one attention as her older siblings did. It only felt right that she should go first.
Our Chicago Adventure
We chose Chicago for our weekend getaway, a city that’s full of energy, food, culture, and fun. From the moment we hit the road, I made it clear: this weekend was all about her. I wanted her to feel seen, heard, and celebrated. Thus, our first stop before our hotel, Cheesecake Factory!!!
Next morning, her dream came true, she had the Cobra Kai Experience. My daughter is a huge fan of the show, so when I surprised her with tickets to meet some of the cast members, her face absolutely lit up. We got to watch live martial arts demonstrations, meet a few of her favorite characters, and even snap a photo with them. What struck me most wasn’t just her excitement, but how open she was in those moments, sharing stories about why she loves the show, what certain characters mean to her, and how she relates to their struggles and strengths. It gave me a glimpse into her inner world that I might never have seen otherwise.
After the event, we headed to Navy Pier, a must for any Chicago visit. The air was crisp, and Lake Michigan shimmered in the afternoon sun. We saw the iconic Ferris wheel, laughed until our sides hurt, and indulged in some expensive coffee beverages that literally would have cost half the price at home. Sitting there, overlooking the water, she told me about her friendships, her hopes for high school, and even, shyly, relationships.
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As a mom, those are sacred conversations. The kind that don’t happen in rushed car rides or between dinner and homework. They happen when time slows down and your child knows they have your full attention.
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Our next stop was Medieval Times, one of my favorite experiences of the trip. There’s something magical about cheering for knights on horseback, the clash of swords, and the drama of the royal court, and my daughter was completely swept away by it all. As we watched our knight gallop across the arena, she sighed dreamily, and I couldn’t help but smile. She’s a hopeless romantic, just like her mom. But I used that moment to share something important, that while it’s wonderful to believe in love and chivalry, it’s even more important to be your own white knight in shining armor. I told her that strength, self-respect, and independence are the real qualities that make a woman shine. We laughed, clinked our goblets, and cheered even louder, celebrating both romance and resilience.
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The next morning, we attended Mass at Holy Name Cathedral. Our faith has always been the center of our family, and sharing that quiet, reverent time together was grounding. The beauty of the cathedral, the stained glass, the soaring ceilings, the music, seemed to mirror what I was feeling inside: awe, gratitude, and renewal. After Mass, we prayed together, I silently thanked God for the gift of motherhood, for my daughter’s heart, and for the chance to reconnect in such a meaningful way.
Lessons from My “Parent Review”
Throughout the weekend, I encouraged her to be honest with me, to share where she thinks I’m doing well as a mom, and where I could do better. Her insights surprised me.
She told me she appreciates that I show up to her activities and that she always feels supported. But she also shared that sometimes I seem distracted, that I’m often multitasking, even when we’re spending time together. Hearing that stung a little, but it was fair. It’s so easy to be physically present yet mentally somewhere else, answering emails, worrying about work, or checking off to-do lists.
She also told me something that melted my heart, that she feels proud to have a mom who tries to grow, who’s not afraid to admit when she’s wrong or when she needs to improve. That moment reminded me that our kids don’t need perfect parents. They just need present ones, parents who care enough to listen, learn, and try again.
By the end of our trip, we’d created new inside jokes, taken a thousand photos, and shared some deep, honest moments that I’ll treasure forever. But more than that, I came home with a renewed sense of purpose. I don’t want to just be a good employee or a productive adult. I want to be the kind of mom my kids remember as fully there, attentive, engaged, and growing right alongside them.
A Challenge to Other Parents
If you’re reading this, I want to challenge you: take a weekend getaway with each of your kids. It doesn’t have to be fancy or far. The key is presence. Put away the phone. Turn off the notifications. Let the world wait.
Ask your child how you’re doing. Listen, really listen to their answers. Celebrate their honesty, even if it’s hard to hear. Laugh together. Pray together. Reconnect.
Because at the end of the day, our careers might give us titles and paychecks, but our kids give us purpose.
And in this life, being a parent is the most important job we’ll ever have.
Mom on the go in Holy Toledo 