As a new mother, you are bombarded with information about babies and routines and sleep. You are told that you should put your baby down awake but sleepy at the same time of day so that they learn to get into a routine with their sleep. You are told that a routine is key for their development, and that without one, your baby won’t develop the way that you think they will. Routines are a good idea for older babies, and the best routine you could ever have is the one that your baby sets for themselves.Read more
Have you ever found yourself lost in the everyday routine, responsibility, obligation, etc.? Dropping off children at school, after school activities, picking up kiddos, doing homework, mending emotional and physical boo-boos, giving all your patience and guidance to redirecting a toddler or preschooler to a more appropriate approach, uttering “use your words” for the umpteenth time, dealing with sibling quarrels, maintaining a household, meals, and more is precisely what I signed up for when I became a mom. Those are my main, daily, priorities. I also feel that the behavior I model for my children is more impressionable than the words that come from my mouth. Thus, I feel that it is of utmost importance that my actions reflect the actions and attitude that I hope my children will one day adopt as their own. But I have to be honest mine have not. Over the past few days I have had trouble finding that ever so popular complaint that we moms have, BALANCE!
It dawned on me yesterday, Friday. We had just said goodbye to our little toddler princesses and guests who attended our Mega Blok Party (so much fun, will be vloggin about it later) and we were tidying up when I received a phone call. We had planned on Sponsoring Pizza & Movie Night with our Playgroup at a Local family shelter, The Beach House. We had everything in order, pizza, pop, brownies, cookies, etc. it was organized to a tee and then I received the call a couple of hours before we were supposed to pick up the pizza and head to the shelter, the voice on the other end simply expressed that we needed to cancel due to an issue at the shelter but we would still be on for the following month.
The first thing that entered my mind was that my kiddos are going to be so disappointed; they were looking forward to going down to The Beach House to serve. My second thought was crap, we already ordered all those pizzas…perhaps there is another charity/shelter we could sponsor dinner for? Never in my life did I think I would have to have a backup charity/shelter…I mean who doesn’t want free food? But I didn’t have long to think, I had moms I needed to notify and kiddo to pick up from school. Thankfully we were able to cancel the order…special thanks to Tammy and Marco’s Pizza (and Ashleigh’s hubby) for being so understanding and all the moms who signed up to volunteered their time and/or beverages/desserts. Then it dawned on me, how often does a charity/shelter pass up food? Was I receiving a sign or message? A sign/message to slow down…stop running from one activity to the next and filling your schedule to the max…even with good intentions…just, slow down. So I did just that…..
After picking up our eldest from school we headed to the park where I would leaf (totally intended), my worries behind. I totally cleared my mind of all the nonsense…the rumors of this person thinking I don’t like them…me not living up to other mothers’ standards… (When truth is told, I am just running on empty, exhausted, I have spread myself thin) I have literally scheduled every minute of my days. Exhaustion had me contemplating every aspect of my life… where I once had confidence insecurities were surfacing. While trying to be the best everything I could be for everyone else I lost something very valuable, me!
Walking, sitting, playing, eating, and running in the park…not having to rush off to this activity or that obligation freed me. The clean air, sunshine on my face, joy in my children’s voices, colors of Fall all Freed me from the shackles of routine, time, rumors, insecurities, and the nonsense that had clouded my confidence. Removing yourself from the online world, unplugging, and just being for a while allows you to have time with you….that is where I found something valuable that I have LOST…ME!
Last night I had the gals over from our Moms’ Timeout show to plan upcoming shows. I felt so rejuvenated, more like me than I have in the past month, it is amazing what a little bit of time away from “the crazy” can do for your soul.
Have you ever lost yourself in the hustle and bustle of motherhood? How could you tell you were lost, was it a single incident or a collection of activities that clued you in? How did you find yourself again? Or perhaps you have already found balance, what do you do to maintain that balance? Do you have a certain ritual you do or hobby that helps you stay connected with you?
We just got home from Kings Island (I will be blogging about this later) and we are regrouping before a Mud Hens Game this evening. I went to check my email and saw that a very dear friend sent me an email with a link to the following (boy does she know me, it was precisely what I needed to read at this moment):
For the days we are running on empty. For the days we just don’t think we have it in us to read one more story, play one more game of Uno, wash one more round of sheets. For the days when we think everyone else has it altogether. For the days we’re sure anyone else would do this job better.
For those days. You know the ones.
Repeat after me:
1.I shall not judge my house, my kid’s summer activities or my crafting skills by Pinterest’s standards.
3.I shall say “yes” to blanket forts and see past the chaos to the memories we’re building.
4.I shall surprise my kids with trips to get ice cream when they’re already in their pajamas.
5.I shall not compare myself to other mothers, but find my identity in the God who trusted me with these kids in the first place.
6.I shall remember that a messy house at peace is better than an immaculate house tied up in knots.
7.I shall play music loudly and teach my kids the joy of wildly uncoordinated dance.
8.I shall remind myself that perfect is simply a street sign at the intersection of impossible and frustration in Never Never land.
9.I shall embrace the fact that in becoming a mom I traded perfect for a house full of real.
10.I shall promise to love this body that bore these three children – out loud, especially in front of my daughter.
11.I shall give my other mother friends the gift of guilt-free friendship.
12.I shall do my best to admit to my people my “unfine” moments.
13.I shall say “sorry” when sorry is necessary.
14.I pray God I shall never be too proud, angry or stubborn to ask for my children’s forgiveness.
15.I shall make space in my grown up world for goofball moments with my kids.
16.I shall love their father and make sure they know I love him.
17.I shall model kind words – to kids and grown-ups alike.
18.I shall not be intimidated by the inside of my minivan – this season of chip bags, goldfish crackers and discarded socks too shall pass.
19.I shall always make time to encourage new moms.
20.I shall not resent that last call for kisses and cups of water but remember instead that when I blink they’ll all be in college.
~ with love from one tired mother to another.
Thank you Kristy
If you can relate, if you are also a tired mother, reply with a brief message expressing so. Please share this with all the tired moms in your life.