As many of you know our house is on the market. And while we haven’t received an offer, we would even settle for an insulting offer, we are hopeful. Last weekend we prepared for an open house. I have to admit we almost have this showing/open house thing down to a science. When preparing for an open house or a showing a symphony of emotions tends to accompany the process and it goes a little something like this:
Mommy and daddy are so excited, HOPE fills the house. Soon ANXIETY shows its ugly face and mommy starts yelling about toys on the floor, dirty clothes shoved under beds, the food on the trim, walls, and ceiling, oh, the crayon marks strategically placed 18” above the floor, and last but not least, the gosh darn toilet that is a graffiti of pee, rust, and mildew (daddy usually disappears around this time, off on doggy doodoo duty). The mood slowly lifts and ENTHUSIASM builds as the house becomes cleaner and cleaner. Then, like a big drum (my symphonic vocabulary really stinks, I should have taken orchestra, big drum, how expressive!) bang!!!! PANIC sets in! Panic because it is time to poke the cat with a broom in order to get her out from underneath the bed and into her cat carrier. Panic because it is time to hurry up and make the cookies that take 10 minutes, in five. Panic because you can’t remember where you put the car keys and you still have a bunch of crap to throw in the car. And then, like the end of a beautiful piece of music all is PEACEFUL and quiet again as the car keys are found, everyone is buckled into their seats (often with more crap piled on top of their laps) and you drive away PRAYING the entire time that God sends the person meant to purchase the house TODAY, please!
Thanks to my amazing husband (and my parents, they took the kiddos all day) preparing for our Open House this past Sunday was beautiful. Our symphony of emotions was lacking in the anxiety portion because he got me, us, the whole family really, but I just like to think me, because he knows the struggles, the frustration, the long sleepless nights (this might be a bit of a stretch but there were a few stomach flu filled nights and lots of morning sickness, make that all day sicknesses when pregnant with the kiddos) I had with the toilet, so he got A NEW TOILET!!
In honor of our 9th wedding anniversary (coming up in April) he splurged and purchased a brand new toilet!! He really does love me. All you moms can agree that nothing says honey I love you like a brand spanking new toilet. This is why we are declaring year 9 of marriage as the Year of the Toilet.
He really does love me!
I never really understood the purpose behind all the anniversary gifts. Like the first Anniversary, Year 1 is paper. Is that so you can write your condolences to each other?
Year 2 is cotton or straw? What? Is that because the little lady destroyed clothing while doing the wash and in an effort to keep the marriage afloat you purchase new cotton clothing and perhaps new sheets. Are we sleeping on straw mattresses anymore? What is the deal with the straw? You could make a scarecrow to scare away the marriage demons?
Year 4 is leather. Now this one I totally agree with and in fact we did purchase a leather couch for our 4th year of marriage or maybe that was our 3? It kind of felt like a 4th, that was the year we had our first child that was one long crazy year, so crazy it felt like two years.
Year 5 is wood. One website states a wooden cabin or a walk in the woods. Really!?! After 5 years what better way to express your love than a walk in the woods. Please, you can do that any gosh darn day. Or maybe your husband is not one to go for a walk in the woods. In which case if you find yourself walking in the woods with your husband on your 5th Anniversary you might have cause for alarm, leave a trail for the authorities.
Year 6 is iron. No joke, one website states the following…. 6th wedding anniversary is iron. Not the steam iron variety, domestic appliances are not a romantic gift, ever! This iron is the heavy black metal, maybe a new gate, or a fun candlestick. Nothing says I love you baby better than his and hers side of the house divided by an iron gate no less.
Apparently we weren’t to far off with the 9 th Anniversary, it is pottery. Well, we did get something porcelain!
These date back hundreds of years and are supposed to be a lovely romantic gesture but I think it is time to update them; it is time to get with the modern-day necessities. Hello, we have indoor plumbing now and toilet is nowhere on the list even after all the crap you have been through during the past 9 years (the years that often include building a family, those are some crazy years; you see stuff that you can’t take back (childbirth and your husband peacefully sleeping while you get up a third time in one night with the baby)). Thus, we are officially declaring Anniversary 9, or Year 9 of marriage, as toilet, who is with us?