As I tucked in my little ones tonight we did our usual routine; pj, brush teeth, book, prayers, and bed. And as usual mommy was starting to really start to drag, losing momentum, energy, and patience with each stroke of their tooth brushes. I was thinking about the many chores that still had to be accomplished before the night was through, otherwise, if I did not complete the necessary chores I would hate myself in the morning.
As I tucked our girls into bed I started to think how nice it would be to just lay down and shut my eyes for a moment, knowing full well that if I did actually do that I would not awake until tomorrow morning. So I sucked it up and carried on with the nightly routine. I went through the various blanket options with our toddler. I went back and forth with our kindergartener discussing what would be the best book to read in order to lose her in it and slowly trail off to dreamland without any concern for “scary dreams”. Then I proceeded to our preschooler’s room where upon arrival I stepped in something wet and while cleaning up the water (thank God it was just water!) I simultaneously told him a story about when he was little at his request (like he is twenty or something?….Way back when you were 3 years old…haha) and stared making a mental checklist of my to-dos for the evening: laundry, clothes for tomorrow, fill out forms for doctors and send into preschool, remind self to make doctors appointments in the morning, sanitize water toys, remember to feed the cat (poor thing has been following me around all day), don’t be an ass to your hubby he is also tired from a long day at work, maybe make a meal for the neighbor…..make brownies for dance recital Sunday, don’t forget to go shopping for child’s b-day party Saturday, make grocery list for tomorrow, coupons….crap…coupons! Then, my mommy brain collided with my “to do” list and I sudden found myself expressing those memorable first steps our son took as this….you pulled yourself up, grabbed the couch, stood up, and then…the most magnificent thing happened… something I had been dreaming about since the day you were born…..I ran to get the camera ….and….and….and…coupons!! BUSTED!! I felt horrible he could tell I wasn’t paying attention, my mind was elsewhere, I hate myself when I do that, I need to stay in the moment more.
I apologized to our big blue-eyed four-year-old who was hanging onto every word I uttered during that story. I told him that sometimes mommies get tired and we lose focus. That mommy had a very long day and I still have a long night ahead of me before I get to relax. I felt so bad…here he just wanted to hear something important about himself. Being the middle child and the only boy only added to my guilt. But then he said the most amazing thing, as if he knew I needed a little pick-me-up, he said thank you mommy for today. Thank you for….
Going to Story time at Barnes & Noble…
For going to McDonald’s Play area with our friends….
For the fun Water Play…
And letting us pick dinner…..the Macaroni & Cheeseburger muffins were so good.
And just like that, it was like I had just been given an adrenaline drip. I suddenly had the energy to complete the remaining “to dos” to put aside tomorrow’s “to dos”, and to realize that my hard work as a mom was paying off, and that to me was priceless.
So what is on your “to do” list tonight? Do you ever wonder if anyone in your family ever recognizes all the planning, energy, time, and patience you give? Have you ever felt like surrendering and just going to bed early?