At first the baby didn’t seem aware of the cannula (a straw-shaped instrument attached to the end of the suction tube)…It gently probed the baby’s side…the next movement was the sudden jerk of a tiny foot as the baby started kicking, as if trying to move away from the probing invader. As the cannula pressed in the baby began struggling to turn and twist away. The tiny body violently twisting…being wrung like a dish cloth, twirled and squeezed…then the little body began disappearing…the last thing visible was the tiny, perfectly formed backbone…and then it was gone.
These words are taken from the book, unPLANNED that tells the dramatic true story of a former Planned Parenthood leader’s eye-opening journey across the life line. You might be asking yourself why I have decided to address this topic today. It is because today marks the first of 40 Days for Life.
With abortion being the leading cause of death in the US there is a desperate need for transformation…which is where forty days comes into play. For forty days you are asked to…call upon the community to unite in prayer and fasting to end abortion. To conduct peaceful forty-day-long prayer vigils outside abortion clinics and to be a witness to the harm being done there, and offering hope and compassion to all who enter. (Taken from the book, unPLANNED)
Why this is such a passionate topic for me….
Okay, I guess it is time to get personal. During my freshmen year of college I was asked to write two papers, one from the perspective of a pro-life woman and the other from the perspective of a pro-choice woman. This was one of the most difficult assignments I had, and probably ever will, receive in my lifetime. That assignment, in particular the latter paper, though terribly difficult to write since I was raised pro-life and firmly believe in pro-life actually opened my eyes to the fear that can cloud ones judgment. I had to put myself in the place of a woman who was dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and suddenly I realized that fear and shame played such strong roles in their outlook. The fear of not being able to have a child alone, the fear of going through with an abortion, the fear of what other people will think, the fear of not accomplishing your dreams and goals, the fear of what life holds with a child by your side…the shame that you have brought this upon yourself, that you have had an abortion, etc. I also realized that this woman, no matter what her decision was going to be judged by some people; I say some because there are people out there who are kind and compassionate and realize that God shall pass judgment one day, not us.
Fast-forward to the present and I find myself labeling those women who have found themselves pregnant at a young age, who have to make difficult decisions, and who have chose life, I call those women BRAVE! It is no easy task to bring a child into this world out-of-wedlock, underage, etc. and I commend those women and I praise them for if it were not for them I would not have some of the most precious individuals in my life today. So I extend my gratitude to those brave women and I wish I could give each of you a warm embrace as the tears are beginning to stream down face. I am including a very touching song by Casting Crowns, Just Another Birthday that focuses on this topic….
I also have a practice I would like all to share with me for those women who have undergone an abortion, COMPASSION. I have spoken with a few women who have experienced an abortion and not once has one been glad she followed through with it. Even though they were young and they had so much potential for a bright future, career, etc. it wasn’t worth a life. In fact they regret what they have done…they always wonder what if…what if they had their baby…would it be a boy…a girl…maybe that child would have grown into the individual who would one day cure cancer. The heartache, burden, and pain those women carry for the rest of their lives are something no one should have to endure.
So please join me in 40 Days for Life and pray and fast for all the innocent victims and victims of abortion. In honor of 40 Days for Life I am altering the background of this blog to a blue to represent the hope, peace, compassion, and fortitude for life.
The following link has printable devotions for each of the 40 days. http://40daysforlife.com/getinvolved.cfm
Also, if you or someone you know is facing an unplanned pregnancy in the Toledo area please direct them to Heartbeat of Toledo . If you are not in this area please seek help from a local church or other community affiliate center but not a Planned Parenthood who needs to meet abortion quotas.
If you have had an abortion here are a few sites that might help provide solace, http://hopeafterabortion.com/, http://www.afterabortion.com/, and http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Had-An-Abortion/366.
40 Days for Life is not about being right, wrong, or indifferent, it is about Life…will you join me?
Mom on the go in Holy Toledo 
I am so conflicted and have rewritten this a few times. I don’t want this to seem like an attack at all. I understand we are all entitled to our own opinion and this is your blog but I urge you to think about your audience. If this was a totally Catholic, Republican, Pro-life, etc blog then it wouldn’t matter but I think some people would be very offended or even very upset at reading the first paragraph. I was physically ill and very upset tonight after reading this. You know I love your blog but I can’t handle reading this and not saying anything. On June 9, 1995 I walked into the Center for Choice with a line of escorts to get me by the protesters holding up horrible signs and saying horrible things about a decision I made after a lot of thought. I had an abortion, had complications during the procedure and after. Do I regret the decision? In some ways yes but under the circumstances…NO. If I had to go back under the same circumstances I would do it again. Maybe I shouldn’t gotten pregnant in the first place since I was in a terrible abusive relationship. If I had this baby there is a chance I would have had to leave everyone I care about and go into hiding to protect this child from terrible things. (Long story and I will not elaborate) But I did get pregnant. Bringing a baby into that environment would have been terrible. Carrying a baby nine months and handing it over to someone else isn’t something I could have done. When I said one time to you that maybe someone women couldn’t just hand their babies over after giving birth you asked “So you think they should just kill them?” I did, I killed my baby, my little girl. I never would have used that term but I guess that is what I did. I am not proud of it but it was the best choice for everyone. I don’t think anyone can understand unless they have been there. I used to look at kids for years and wonder what my little girl what have looked like at that age, my daughter would have been getting a driver’s license this year, maybe going to homecoming, prom with an older boyfriend, and we’d be talking about college. That all hurts to think about and I don’t want my friends to make me feel worse about the decision I made. Please think about who is sitting in front of you or the computer screen. You are a compassionate person and care a lot about people and would never want to hurt anyone.
I believe in prochoice but I would never tell anyone to have or not to have an abortion. I would share my story with all the pain and heartache that has come with it. And let them decide what is best for them. My complications during childbirth might have been related to my experience and I wonder if I was punished for my decision. I am the one that has to live with my decisions. Not politicians, church leaders, my family, or my friends.
This post is about truth and sometimes the truth can set us free. I realize the first paragraph is graphic and I felt like vomiting when I read it in unPLANNED but it is the truth. The paragraph discusses the image Abby Johnson witnessed while holding the ultrasound wand during an abortion at Planned Parenthood.
The truth is abortions leave victims, yes, the innocent lives of babies but also the mothers, they are victims too! You say you would not change what you did but based upon the reply you provided it seems otherwise…As you stated… “I used to look at kids for years and wonder what my little girl would have looked like at that age, my daughter would have been getting a driver’s license this year, maybe going to homecoming, prom with an older boyfriend, and we’d be talking about college. That all hurts to think about…” why would you wish this hurt on another woman?
You are correct you are the one who has to live with your decision but as your friend, it does seem like this has been an emotional wound that you have been bearing for some time now. I don’t want you to hurt; it pains me to see you hurt. I do not want another woman to have to deal with the wounds that come from an abortion.
If more women expressed the courage that you have illustrated by posting your personal heartache the word would get out to those women who are contemplating an abortion right now that it is not worth the emotional toll you will bear for the rest of your life. It needs to end…no more women should have to wear the battle wounds of an abortion.
Tammy, thank you for so courageously sharing your story and I pray to God that women contemplating an abortion have the opportunity to read your experience.
Something strange happened tonight. I have thought about this issue intensely for the last 8 months after I started hearing your views. The guilt was gone tonight. I am not beaming with pride about my decision but I feel like a weight has been lifted and I can accept everything I did. I know I did the right thing in the situation I was in and bringing a baby into such a screwed environment would have been a disaster for everyone. I do know I would make the same decision. I don’t need to worry about what anyone else thinks. I just need to give myself a break. I can say for sure I am not a victim for having an abortion. It made me stronger. I took stronger precautions to make sure it never happened again. I wouldn’t wish this on any woman but sometime we have to make tough choices with even harder consequences. But the key word is choice.
I don’t know what it is like at the Center for Choice now. If there are still protesters standing outside shaming the women going in, I will be one of those volunteers to help them get in to door safely. It’s time to give back to the place that treated me with such compassion and understanding.
I do respect your opinion and I wish you well in your fight.
I am so happy to read that the guilt has lifted. I am glad you have decided to give back and help other women; your heart is in the right place. I pray that one day you can see how amazing adoption is. In fact, if it wasn’t for adoption I would not have the amazing family I have today. Adoption has touched my life in so many ways…it is a beautiful thing to give a husband and wife a child…to give them a family, there is no gift like it on this earth. God bless you as you continue on your journey.
Tammy thank you for sharing, you are so brave.
I agree with your thoughts Kat. A very dear friend of mine got pregnant in a very bad situation and she gave the baby up (for adoption), the hardest decision of her life. But I was there to meet that family and see their faces when they got to meet “their ” baby boy, they weren’t able to have children and he was the best thing that ever happened to them. They have since adopted other children as well so they have a whole family now and that was the right decision. She still thinks about it every day and it was hard for her, but it was the right choice for everyone. I commend her every time I think of that story. Her son is now a teen and has an amazing family and support system.
Lisa,
I am so comforted by the fact that your friend chose adoption. As a mom I cannot even imagine the depth of emotion that comes with handing your child over to another couple. But there must be some solace in knowing that you are making the best decision for your child. She not only gave birth to a child but her amazing sacrifice resulted in a family.
Thank you so much for sharing your friend’s story. I think it is so important that more stories/experiences like these circulate so that women know that there are options.