In this label obsessed world we live in, where people find happiness an almost impossible path to negotiate parents have the opportunity to break the cycle.
God prewired your infant. He scripted your toddler’s strengths. He set your teen on a trajectory. God gave you an eighteen-year research project. Ask yourself, your spouse, and friends: What sets this child apart? Childhood tendencies forecast adult abilities. Read them. Discern them. Affirm them. Cheerlead them.
You’ve been given a book with no title-read it! A CD with no cover-listen to it! An island with no owner-explore it! Resist the urge to label before your study. Attend carefully to the unique childhood of your child.
Comparisons, measuring, labels, etc. are all learned. Have you ever heard an adult say to a child, “why can’t you be more like (insert sibling’s name, neighbor’s child’s name, etc. here)?” Or, have you ever overheard a parent calling their child a brat or monster? Granted most of the time it is a mere case of the child being overstimulated or exhausted and the parent likely exhibiting the same. But what the child hears is their parent calling them a brat, their own parent! And children are likely to live up to what you believe in them. Thus, as parents we not only need to encourage our children daily to be the best that they can be but we also need to model this behavior.
Moms, this means no more comparing you to other moms. Each of us is different and that is beautiful. We can learn so much from each other if we remember that God gave each of us such unique talents and gifts to cherish and share. How liberating is it to know that you don’t have to mother just like your neighbor, or best friends? Your children need to hear and feel the same. Once you stop the ‘stinking thinking’ in your own mind you will find it much easier to be the best Mother you can be, the mother God intended for your children. For the relationship you have with your children is exclusive, special, unique, and that is not by chance, that was Gods magnificent plan.
Where to start?
It is simple (and yet so profound). In the morning as you drop your children off at school, preschool, daycare, the world, say to them, as I say to my children, and just as the Oak told the Acorn in The Oak inside the Acorn, “ be the best you that you can be, be the you that God made you to be”.
Please take a moment to reflect. Then check out some great articles that address additional things that children need to hear…..
Please feel free to share your thoughts, ideas, and/or additional resources.