Sunday’s Food for the Soul: Stop Criticizing and begin Healing


“Thank you so much for pointing out my flaws, I so appreciate it “said no one, EVER!

Have you ever come across that person who gives you a backhanded compliment or openly criticizes your clothes, actions, food, parenting style etc.?  Or perhaps they sent you an email, an instant message, or you caught wind of it via another close companion? Either way, the act of criticizing others solves nothing. In fact it often has quite an opposite effect.  It brings about defensiveness, resentment, and sometimes more criticism or it simply pushes people away.   When someone chooses to be critical of another it actually speaks volumes about that individual.

 

nobody-perfect

Those who criticize others are often hurting themselves. And instead of looking within themselves and trying to determine where the jealousy, resentment, or need to be right stems from they continue to criticize others and the hurt within them just escalates and compounds.

This week’s homework: Break the habit…….this week if you find yourself experiencing critical thoughts about another person….

First, do not act on them. Keep your thoughts to yourself. Remember that age-old saying from childhood, “If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all”.

Second, take a moment to analyze the root of the thought.  For example:

Let’s say at the PTA meeting a mom has a brilliant idea that she shares with the crowd and the crowd reacts positively. Instantly you find yourself trying to find any and all flaws with the idea, her wardrobe, her kids, etc. while the anger within you builds. Consider why you are experiencing such anger towards another person’s idea.  Is it jealousy within you? Do you wish you had come up with the idea? Perhaps you wish you had her courage to stand up and vocalize your ideas?

And lastly, turn that criticism into admiration. This step is often the most difficult because it is admitting that we are not perfect, in fact someone else has a quality that is better. Admire that quality within that person, perhaps you can learn from them.

 

Bonus points: Go up to that person and share the quality that you admire in them. This can take a lot of confidence and courage but I know you can do it….I have faith that one day you will be the best you that you can be.

 DSC_86922

 

There will always be someone smarter, more attractive, better at math, better at sports, etc. that doesn’t mean that you do not have your own unique strong qualities. It simply means that you are a confident individual who can admire those who are better than you at certain things.  The sooner you can come to terms with your own shortcomings and realizes those are others strong suits the happier and more peaceful you will be.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Categories: sundays, Uncategorized

You're off to great places! But do keep in touch!

In the words of Dr. Seuss, You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go. And when you get there take us with you!

4 Comments on “Sunday’s Food for the Soul: Stop Criticizing and begin Healing”

  1. Sarah
    September 9, 2013 at 11:11 pm #

    Absolutely. Oh how I realize the nasty C slips out of my mouth. Even once is too much. Thanks for the reminder to zip it.

    I would be delighted to have you share this with our group of moms. Stop by to be encouraged as we have a guest post splashing us all in God’s goodness. And as always, I would be crazy honored to have you link up.

    Just moms. Sharing our notes. Creating a melody.
    http://justsarahdawn.blogspot.com/2013/09/thank-goodness.html

    • September 10, 2013 at 6:50 pm #

      Sarah I would be honored to link up…I am looking forward to reading the moms’ notes. Thank you for sharing 🙂

  2. October 6, 2013 at 8:34 pm #

    It does take a big person to overcome the need to criticize. It is like we have to find a way to one up a person. And it’s not even necessary. Everyone has contributions to make, big or small!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: