We just got home after having lunch with a friend, where my preschooler had a mini-pout-down…not so much a meltdown…there was definitely more pouting than melting. Haha! We met at Chick-fil-a in hopes of her playing in the play area while we chatted. Well, it seemed like a great plan. But there were no other children there and she didn’t want to play by herself. Being the youngest of 3 I would think she would love to finally have an entire play area to herself, no sister or brother, no other kids, awesome, right!? Wrong. Instead of playing she sat on my lap, she whined a little went in the kids’ area and pouted, and then she really laid it on thick and repetitively asked for ice cream then for a dessert over and over again. She was being a typical preschooler who wasn’t getting her mother’s undivided attention. I totally understood! But what really surprised me was my response now, today, compared to my reaction when I was a first time mom.
My first time around raising a 4 year old resulted in much more reaction than response. I very rarely thought things through when out in public… in terms of what was best for my 4 year old in the short/long run and rather reacted quickly so others wouldn’t judge me. I would feel myself getting warm and uncomfortable as if all eyes were on me whenever she raised her voice or basically did anything. I was overwhelmed with the way others would judge me as a mom. So much so that I really wasn’t being the mom, or at least the mom my daughter needed, at least not in public. If she threw a tantrum in the grocery store I would practically have a nervous breakdown trying to react the way others would think was most acceptable…do I give in and give her the sugary treat so she is quiet and others aren’t disturbed or do I not for fear other will think I am a bad mom…but what if she yells throughout the entire store? I used to overcomplicate and overanalyze everything. My mind was in a state of disarray. Thankfully knowledge, experience, trial & error, and learning from mistakes have led me to where I am now, and would I trade it? What is this motherhood wisdom worth?
I have to be honest; there is nothing I would trade, not even a fit, flat, stretchmark-free pre-baby stomach, for the confidence, peace of mind, and wisdom that comes from the experiences, especially with regard to motherhood. The wisdom I have gained is priceless.
Now I can sit at Chick-fil-a and finish my lunch while my preschooler repetitively inquires about dessert and I can tell her no 60 times and I am cool as a cucumber…I am not worried about what the lady behind me thinks. I know that giving in to her and rewarding bad behavior is the worst thing I can do for her and she is what matters most. Ahh…the clarity that comes with experience!!
So, do tell, would you trade any of your wisdom for youth? Would you trade your mommy know-how for pre-baby boobs? What is your wisdom worth?