Count Me In as Your Plus-One, Always!

I get asked this a lot: “How do you get your kids to actually go to Mass or church?” And honestly, it’s not a one-size-fits-all answer. But here’s the truth: it starts young. I’ve been taking my children to church since they were toddlers, starting with my firstborn, and the key has always been modeling faith in real life.

Let’s be real, kids notice what you do more than what you say. It’s not enough to tell them faith is important; they need to see it in action. I’ve always made it a point to live out my faith openly. I volunteered as a religious education teacher at our parish, teaching my own son and youngest daughter. It wasn’t just about the classroom lessons, it was about showing them that faith is something you live, not just something you check off a list.

Prayer has always been a big part of our home. During my divorce, I prayed in ways that were visible to my kids, I said the Rosary daily, sometimes quietly, sometimes loud enough for them to hear, and yes, I even yelled at God when I felt at my wit’s end. And that’s okay. That’s prayer too. It taught my kids that faith isn’t perfect or pretty, it’s honest, it’s messy, and it’s essential when life gets tough.

The parish community has also been a huge part of our faith journey. We’ve been blessed with amazing priests and parishioners who welcomed us with smiles and kind words: “It’s so good to see you!” or “Have a blessed week!” These little moments matter. Kids pick up on the warmth and encouragement of a faith community, and it reinforces everything we’re trying to teach at home.

Faith really begins at home. We make Advent, Lent, and feast days meaningful. We light candles, talk about the season, and celebrate traditions together. But once kids receive their sacraments, a new challenge emerges. As a parent, my biggest worry is that they’ll think their faith journey is “done” until a milestone like marriage or some major life event, or worse, until they’re older and in crisis.

So how do my teenagers keep showing up for Mass? Simple: they watch me. I am their role model. I show them that attending Mass isn’t optional, it’s non-negotiable. And here’s the fun part: I am always their plus-one. No matter what their work or social schedule looks like, they know I will be there to support them.

Case in point: on my oldest daughter’s birthday weekend, we drove to Cleveland and attended the Spanish Mass at Saint Michael the Archangel (she’s in her fourth year of Spanish and enjoyed the opportunity). Then, I drove back to Toledo to take my other two teenagers to Mass when their schedules allowed. It might seem like a lot, but it’s an investment in their faith. They see that showing up matters, and in turn, they make the effort themselves.

Showing up consistently isn’t just about being present at Mass, it’s a life lesson. It’s about commitment, about showing that faith is a priority. By consistently putting God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit at the center of my life, my kids see that faith is a real, living part of who we are. Whether you’re Catholic, Christian, or part of another faith, the principle is the same: if you live your faith authentically, your children are more likely to embrace it too.

It’s also important to celebrate your kids’ efforts. When they show up, volunteer, or participate in religious education, let them know you see it and appreciate it. Positive reinforcement goes a long way. Faith shouldn’t feel like a chore, it should feel like a shared journey.

For families with multiple children, coordinating schedules is key. A supportive spouse or partner can make it easier to make Mass a priority for everyone. Even with three kids, my weekends are carefully planned to make sure everyone can attend Mass while balancing other commitments. For larger families, it takes a little teamwork, but it’s absolutely possible.

Bottom line: how do you get your teenagers to attend Mass or other services? You model it. You prioritize it. And you make it fun, engaging, and consistent. And most importantly: you are always their plus-one for the Eucharist. Faith is not just a checklist or a milestone, it’s a daily, active presence that your children see and internalize.

Faith is a gift, but it’s also a responsibility. It requires consistency, intentionality, and a little bit of creativity. Be present at Mass, participate in the sacraments, pray openly, and allow your children to see that faith sustains you through the highs and lows. In doing so, you equip them to cultivate their own meaningful relationship with God.

Kids may stumble, question, or even drift. But if they’ve seen your commitment, your frustration, your joy, and your authenticity, those seeds of faith will stay planted. And when the time comes, they’ll return to Mass not because they have to, but because they know it’s worth showing up. And when they ask, cancel any other plans and show up! ALWAYS be your child’s plus one no matter the time. Trust me, they are only in adolescents and immerging adulthood for so long, help navigate them…also, a meal afterward has never hurt (okay, that might be bribery, lol! but they will not oppose).

So if your teen asks why you keep going to Mass, just smile and say: “Count me in as your plus-one, always.”! Afterall, wasn’t that God’s plan all along, until they have launched officially with their own patterner/mate?