I had 30 minutes till I had to pick up my youngest from preschool so I figured I would make the most of my time. I had just left Hobby Lobby where I tried my best to limit my purchase by only grabbing a basket and not a cart. Turns out you can really hold a lot with one hand/arm while the other holds a basket. It is all about determination and will power….where there is a will to purchase there is a way to carry said items. Haha! Well, I might have spent a little more than I anticipated but I figure it all balances out, I don’t need a gym membership…I do my weight training at Hobby Lobby. LOL! So after all that heavy lifting I worked up quite an appetite for one Grande iced hazelnut latté, weird right!? Bet you thought I was going to say water…we get that for free from the tap, as my husband puts it, so I figured I should make those dollars count. I am clearly always thinking of ways to save us money. Haha! (I can’t even type that with a straight face) but I digress. Fortunate for me there just so happens to be a Starbucks in the Kroger’s that I was heading to, image that, what are the chances!? The Kroger’s I was going to was the one I use to frequent, more specifically every two weeks for our family grocery sphere. It holds many fond memories as you are about to find out.
As I walked through the entrance my first observation was that they had rearranged everything, or at least the produce section and that is how my path down memory lane was ignited. In my mind I could still see how it was laid out in the past, in my memories. I could almost see myself pushing that obnoxious cart with the car in the front that held a little toddler eating his snack that I had packed (or perhaps I grabbed a goldfish package off the shelf and torn into it…that portion of the memory is a little blurry) and a preschooler repeating “beep beep, excuse me, beep beep, excuse me” and my baby bump practically kissing the cart handle. Just recalling that time in my life put a huge smile on my face. Oh how I wish my journey down memory lane ended there but it didn’t. As I started grabbing the items from my list that iced latte hit me fast and I had to go pee so off to the restroom I went. You know the same restroom I use to go to with my children when they were younger. I use to joke that I spent more time in the restroom than the actual store, between potty training and being pregnant it wasn’t unusual for us to visit “the potty” 2-3 time.
As I washed my hands I recalled how I would pick up each child and help them wash their tiny hands and how I praised them for such a great job in the bathroom and their eyes would light up. I would then promise that we were almost finished (I was totally lying of course but for some reason it helped) shopping and their smiles would beam from ear-to-ear. And then I remembered how good the younger two were once the baby was born. They would each take their turn watching the baby while mommy helped their sibling pull up pants, flush, etc. Then we would all go back to our obnoxious cart (I use to fear that on one of our trips to the restroom someone would take our cart and everyone would see a mom totally lose it…thankfully that never happened) with the car in the front and place the baby seat on top of the cart, man I loved that view! But I don’t know if I truly stopped long enough to enjoy the view of my sweet baby girl and little ones chatting and beeping away in the car. Granted I can recall bits and pieces but I do wish I would have looked up from my grocery list more often. And how I wish this was the end of my journey down memory lane but it wasn’t!! I took a turn both figuratively and literally that I wish I hadn’t.
You should never allow your mind to stay on memory lane long otherwise you could end up on the next bus to crazy town. What I should have done was take a jet plane back to reality but I didn’t, I stayed on memory lane. So, there I was in Kroger’s turning down an isle that had a large picture of a cat. And as many of you know we lost our cat in March and I am totally at peace with that, she lived a full and wonderful life. And chances are if I wasn’t stuck on memory lane I would have been fine, possibly even normal, though that might be a stretch. Now, the picture of the cat wasn’t what did it, it did compile the situation though. It was the mother pushing an obnoxious cart with a car in the front filled with 2 laughing toddlers and she was wearing a wrap with a tiny baby in it….that was me 3 years ago coming down the aisle to buy cat food. I want to go back! And then it happened. The lump in the throat, flood of emotions, quickly followed by blurry vision, and finally the waterworks. My heart ached and it felt as if my soul was weeping right there in aisle 4. I quickly put my sunglasses on and starred at the cat food (same cat food I use to buy our cat…was totally not helping the situation). I was in a downward spiral and needed to get out. As the mom passed by me her toddlers started screaming, one threw something out of the car, the baby started to cry, and her phone rang. Yep that did it!! I snapped out of it…I was free!! I was back in reality. Phew that was a close one…I was fearful they would have to announce over the speakers, mom down aisle 4 and bring the Kleenex! Haha! So, as I tell my children, life is a learning experience. We can learn something from every situation, scenario, mistake, victory, etc. So what did I learn from this experience?
And the lessoned learned today is that I should never step foot in that Kroger’s ever again, it simply holds way to many memories. Just kidding, we can’t avoid the things that stir up emotion in our lives we need to learn how to deal with those emotions. And this time of year can be particularly hard for moms and for those of us who have moms, which would be everyone. You can’t go back and do it again but chances are you are so busy that you don’t even realize the time is passing you by. So, my advice to ALL moms and children, SLOW DOWN!! I know you always have to be prepared for the next event or happening, or grocery list but don’t allow preparing for the future to rob you of your present. Remember it is called present for a reason, because it is just that, a big, beautiful, precious PRESENT! So, as you rush around in search of the perfect mother’s day gift or maybe you will be receiving a mother’s day gift don’t become too caught up with the materialist component for there is nothing more magnificent than time spent, mother and child in the PRESENT!
Happy Mother’s Day Moms!