Far too often it seems like moms get so caught up in their children’s lives that they forget to live their own. I am sure we have all been witness to the “crazy mom”, you know the one, shoot you might even be her. The mom that is constantly running one child from one activity to the next, making certain each child is on time, with water/snack, bag, change of clothes, etc. but she can’t seem to remember the last time she ate or even had a BM. Or maybe you are familiar with the moms who purchase the high-end clothes for their children yet run around town in glad rags with holes that showcase their granny panties, talk about embarrassing (sad thing is there are mirrors in their homes they just don’t have time to look in them).
Just the other day I had a personal encounter with an “I have invested all my life into my children” mom. She stood there talking to other moms during pick up and she had a towel on her head and the sad thing is I am not sure if she realized there was a bath towel on her head. I wanted to interrupt and share the news with her but she looked frazzled as it was and I didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news.
And I have saved the best for last, the “I live through my child” mom. Thanks to Toddlers in Tiaras this example is effortless to explain. Plain and simply stated, the “I live through my child” moms are the moms on that show. They are the moms who did not have the opportunity to be in pageants, or dance class, or (fill in the activity/class here) when they were children so they are forcing their children to do the activity hoping to live vicariously through their child’s actions. This type of scenario only ends badly, often with an upset mommy (that is putting it mildly), unappreciative child, and years of therapy, but I didn’t have to tell you that.
Whether you suffer from overscheduled children, no time to look in the mirror or living vicariously through your children, I am here to tell you that help is available.
Take your life back, granted you still need to do everything for everyone but include yourself in the mix. Sign up for a cake decorating class, join a book club, take dance lessons, whatever your interest may be, you’re not dead, live your life! Many moms say they will get back to their life once their children are grow. There are two problems with that statement, one, you never know how long we have on this planet so make the moments count, why put off tomorrow what you can do today? And two, we are modeling behaviors and lifestyles for our children, don’t we want them to live their lives to the fullest once they are adults? Be the mom you want your daughter’s to become one day, the inspiration for your sons to look for in future wives, Live YOUR Life!
How I am living MY life …..
Beyond my motherly, wifely, community, etc. duties I enjoy taking classes and reading. I like to always be learning and gaining knowledge, for wisdom is knowing that you don’t know it all. I most recently attended the Wilton Course 1-Cake decorating basics class at Michael’s http://www.michaels.com/wilton_cake_decorating/wilton_cake_decorating,default,pg.html.
Like the website states, you don’t have to be a chef or even experienced in the kitchen to decorate a cake, cookie, cupcake or brownie. The Wilton Method of Cake Decorating taught me the techniques to decorate treats that are sure to put a smile on my kiddos faces. I am now prepared for our next birthday party, Valentines party, Christmas celebration, etc.
I am so excited to put my new-found skills to work and see what amazing characters I can create on a cupcake, cake or cookies. I was amazed at how easy it really is, once you are familiar with the various tips and techniques you can really create anything, your imagination is the limit. (But let’s just keep the fact that it is actually easy between the two of us, shhhh).
I would highly recommend this course to any and every mom or person planning a party in the near future, like the instructor said, “Lets turn those $.50 cupcakes into $3 cupcakes”, she had a great sense of humor and patience, thank you Laetitia. I did become a little frustrated when it came time to decorate the cupcakes, but I have a tendency of making the simplest things very complicated.
I took the class with two other moms from our playgroup, they actually bought me my cake kit as a birthday present, thanks again ladies. I highly recommend taking a class with a friend, it is a lot of fun (and you have a good chance of having someone else in the class that has supplies that you might have forgotten, like disposable bags, food coloring, and cupcakes, thanks Lilly, I owe you).
Another added bonus to the class, you get time away from the kiddos for a couple of hours, it is important to have time away, it makes you a better mommy (seriously, there are articles and statistics to back up that statement, just Google it). I had so much fun I want to sign up for another, and I think I might since they offer a discount for the next class!
I am also in a book club with other moms that meets every other week. It is so enjoyable to sit down for a couple of hours every other week and catch up with the ladies (because let’s be honest book club is roughly 60% chit-chat about life and 40% about the book, no, maybe it’s more like 30% about the book and 70% the everyday mommyisms, the percentage isn’t important).
Again, it is nice to have a couple hours in the evening away from the family to remember who you are and that you have your own thoughts, questions, and feelings to share, regarding the book of course, Duh!
So, join a book club, or a garden club, or whatever your interest might be or if you can’t find one start one, www.meetup.com offers a great way to meet up with other people who share your same interest and are local (this is not a dating site, they have playgroups, garden clubs, vegan clubs, book clubs, you name it and there is probably a meetup for it and if there isn’t, start one).
What are you doing to live your life and not your children’s? Or what would you be interested in doing? I know if can be tricky thinking about yourself for a change but please do so and share your thoughts.