Co-parenting agreements are designed to make sure you, your ex, and your kids are all as happy as possible now that you’re separating from each other’s lives.
And while that’s a tough thing to think about (and maybe even talk about), it’s something you can’t go forward on without some proper preparation. You need to be sure about each other’s commitments, both in terms of time and money, when it comes to the children you share.
You need to know where each other stands. You also need to know what the kids think about your decisions, and try to provide them with a little more control over the chaos they’re going through.
That all adds up to an honest and open conversation about your co-parenting desires, so here’s what you need to focus on during your chat.
Who’s Going to Take/Pick Them Up From School
This won’t be applicable to every set of co-parents (as your child may get the bus to and from school, or may even be old enough to drive themself), but it’s important to consider for younger children.
The kids, in particular, need to know who they’re looking out for at the school gates or in the parking lot. It may also be a safeguarding issue for the school themself, who may need to be kept in the loop about who is dropping off and/or collecting your child.
Who’s Going to Attend School Events, Club Nights, and Classes
You might both want to attend, whether it’s a parent’s evening talking to teachers, or it’s taking your child to a recital, or attending extracurricular classes they’re interested in.
But there may also be times when only one parent is available, and that needs to be outlined in advance. Not only so you both know what your child is up to, and what you can get involved in, but so you can tell your kids what to expect from you.
Where the Kids Will Stay Most of the Time
This is the main bulk of the conversation you’re going to be having, but it also is the topic you most want to talk about in the right way. Because a co-parenting arrangement is really just an informal version of deciding custody of your children between you and your ex.
And that often means one parent is going to see/spend time with their kids more than the other (although not always). But either way, this division needs to be clear to the both of you from as early on as possible.
How You’ll Communicate if Something Changes
And finally, you need to decide when and where plans are allowed to change, and how much notice is required. For example, if one of you can’t make the school run, how soon does the other parent need to know?
Co-parenting agreements can be hard to work through. However, when you know what to talk about, you’ll have a much clearer direction for your plans.
Mom on the go in Holy Toledo 